Aservant's article. Part 1 of 5.

The following is the story of my experience that lead me to awake to the truth about gay culture and gay behavior itself. A truth that is the exact opposite of what is being portrayed in popular culture and sold at large to an unknowing public.

I write this because I believe there is an intentional, massive fraud being perpetrated on a population that is largely ignorant about this matter due to a lack of honest discourse and direct experience. I believe that those of us that have been fortunate enough to finally be able to see through this fraud have an obligation to share with others what we have learned. It has become very obvious to me that the politically correct, “en vogue”, “gay is good” meme that currently dominates public discourse regarding this issue is not only untrue, but it is very damaging to our societal structure at large, as well as to the lives of individuals. Personally, I know now that my own ignorance on this matter caused me great spiritual damage and resulted in many years of physical hardship and exposure to very dangerous situations. I feel I was lucky to come through this process intact.


I feel it to be very important that my story be told, for I am sure that many others, unprepared, naïve and indoctrinated, will go through the same experience as myself, and it is very possible that unlike me, they won't come through intact. More importantly, I have come to believe that if the gay issue isn't discussed in an open, sincere and rational manner in the public forum at large there will be devastating consequences for everybody, both gay and straight.

But before I get to my actual experience, I want to share a few words of my acquired beliefs on this very important issue.


I want it to be known from the beginning of this story that I do not believe homosexuals and homosexuality are beyond redemption nor are they or their behavior inherently evil. This is important to state because in today's culture, as soon as one speaks critically of gay culture, they are labeled a “bigot, hater, and intolerant.” Well, as you read this true personal account, you will see that I have not been any of those, and nothing in this essay is written with any malice whatsoever. What I write here is what I have learned through years of study, direct experience, and personal observation. The issue of hate or intolerance is not anywhere in the picture. Rather, this is a discussion about the health and stability of our society, nothing more.


The most common label thrown at one who speaks critically of homosexual behavior is “homophobe”, as though this person is personally terrified of homosexuals and therefore must attack them to keep them at a distance. I have come to understand that this response, along with the others previously mentioned, is used by homofascists and their sympathizers as a way of projecting their own terror on to others about their own proclivities that they feel powerless to control. This is a defense mechanism on the part of the homosexual who feels attacked by honest discourse about homosexuality. Let me explain how this works.


This can only be understood if one understands the true nature of homosexuality and is not deceived by what is being trumpeted about gay culture in popular culture today. In today's “mainstream discourse”, being gay is portrayed as a mere “tendency”, no different than being right or left handed. But as I just stated, this is a portrayal, nothing more. It has little if anything to do with what the reality is of being homosexual, which is of course what this essay is about. I used to believe in this “portrayal” of “gayness”. Not anymore. I am now convinced without a doubt, that homosexuality is a strong behavioral compulsion akin to an addiction, and actually is a form of addiction, and an extremely strong one at that. Once I finally understood this, then the aggressive and often hateful reaction that homosexuals display when confronted about the facts of the lifestyle they embrace began to make perfect sense. It began to become clear that just like severe alcoholism or drug addiction, the subject often feels completely powerless to their desires. In the same way that certain drug addicts and alcoholics are blinded by their addiction and can't or are not willing to see how it is destroying them or those around them, so is the unrepentant homosexual. We all know of cases of intervention by others into the life of a drug addict or alcoholic that result with addict becoming extremely aggressive, even to the point of violence. My experience has brought me to believe that attacks by homosexuals on those who speak frankly about this matter is no different at all than the severe drug addict who becomes aggressive when told the truth about his destructive behavior. This aggression comes from a deep, primal fear, which is very understandable if one is to truly comprehend the psychology of severe addiction. The severe addict becomes completely overpowered by his addiction to the point that it is the central driving force in his life. It is his identity, and he literally must continue to consume a substance in order to function, or so he feels. He feels that if he were to stop consuming the substance he would surely do himself great harm, perhaps even die, and in some cases of severe chemical dependency, this is in fact the case. But those cases are rare. In most cases the addict will need treatment, perhaps experience withdrawal symptoms, but they will continue to live without their dependency if they can overcome it. And although it isn't obvious to the practicing addict, if they can conquer their addiction, they will actually live much better. This is why there exists the “intervention”. It is clear to those on the outside that the addict is powerless to their addiction and someone must act to reveal the truth about their behavior to them. They have become blind to how they live and what they do.


I believe that this is the exact same behavioral dynamic at play within homosexual compulsion. When one speaks honestly about homosexual behavior and the practicing homosexual is witness to this, it is very threatening to them and invokes a fearful and aggressive response as a matter of self defense. This is due to the fact that deep down the truth always exists, in spite of the powerful corrupting influences of the human ego with its self-deception and vanity. . When it is proclaimed to an individual about their destructive behavior they can no longer hide in the comfort of their denial. They are faced with the reality of the destruction that they are living, but as already stated above, this destruction has now “become them”, so it is as if the core of their being is under attack. If they are not ready to change or in fact have deluded themselves so deeply for so long that they see no need to change, it is only natural that they will aggressively attempt to defend themselves with a counter attack. And today, with a massive, mainstream public movement telling the homosexual that “gay is good”, he is that much more empowered in his addiction. But when one speaks openly about this destructive way of living, whether as a homosexual or a drug addict, the coping mechanism of denial that the person has employed is rendered useless in a moment. Truthful words, especially in front of witnesses, have much power. The addict had succeeded in fooling himself that his behavior is “normal”. Now, once the power of truth is interjected, the charade is over, reality is revealed, and the person is brought into account. This is a very painful, frightening experience for one who has been living in destruction.


I write this as a Christian, so for me really, this is a spiritual matter and best understood as such. The behavior I described above that likens the homosexual to the drug addict is a good example of what Christian belief calls sin. One could write an entire essay on exactly what sin is and how it is defined, but the topic of sin itself is not the subject here, so I will offer a concise definition for the sake brevity and clarity. Sin is evil behavior. And what is evil behavior, you ask? Who is to define this? According to whom? Well, I will offer this. Evil is “live” spelled backwards, and this seems to offer us a perfectly clear interpretation as to what it means. It is any force directly opposed to life. This can be actions, beliefs, philosophy or just simple words. In the context of behavior, evil is comprised of actions that lead to destruction, not creation. I have learned through direct experience, and it is this experience that lead me to believe in Christian doctrine, that there are those who act evilly because it is their nature; they are children of the dark and enjoy this behavior. And then there are the rest of us, who all act evilly from time to time, some more than others, for a variety of reasons. These reasons could be because we suffer from vanity, pride, anger, lust, weakness....the list is large. But we are not evil at heart, and we do not enjoy acting this way as a way of living, but we are weak and make mistakes.


But sometimes, one can make mistakes repeatedly and fall into sin, just like each drug addict starts with just one episode that leads to addiction. Sin in all its forms, which comes through temptation and seduction of the soul, is highly addictive and can often be very intoxicating. And again, just like hard core drug addiction, sin can be so highly addictive that it can completely consume a person to the point that they are unable to return to normalcy and perish. But sin can also be fought and overcome. I have learned this first hand.


So for me it has become very evident that the homosexual is a suffering, lost sinner, just like the rest of us, nothing more, and this has always been the case throughout time. But today there is another dimension to this issue, and that is the mainstreaming of homosexual behavior in what has been a western culture deeply rooted in Christian values for many centuries. These values of course have always held that homosexuality is not to be embraced as “normal”, but rather, homosexual behavior is a reflection of a disturbed soul and a sin not unlike countless others. Now, in what could only be described as a near instantaneous reversal of popular opinion, it is the Christian who doesn't embrace homosexuality as normal who is seen in mainstream society as “disturbed”. Progressive society today champions the homosexual simply as a “misunderstood minority.” This is completely opposite to the traditional Christian viewpoint that has dominated our culture for centuries, which maintains that we are sinners and must fight our darker side. Today's society has succeeded by and large in removing the moral question about homosexual behavior.


I will make a case in this essay that this is a dangerous development for the security and prosperity of our society. I will even go as far to say here that normalizing homosexual behavior at large in our culture may very well be the linchpin issue for its destruction. If one is to understand homosexuality in the spiritual Christian paradigm, and not only that, but in a psychological, scientific manner, what is to stop us from openly embracing all forms of sin? Why discriminate against other sin? Why don't we openly celebrate lying? Or adultery? Or theft? No, you say, that would be destructive by destroying all trust between individuals, and there is no comparison........being gay is just preferring the same sex as an intimate partner, that's all.


Is that all? My direct experience over many years has told me that isn't all in the least, not by far. I have already used the term "gay culture", and gays use it themselves, and this is correct, because there is a whole culture and lifestyle associated with being gay, especially homosexual rather than lesbian, that is very different from non-gay culture. My story will tell you about this in detail, and it is this experience that makes me conclude, without a doubt, that embracing and celebrating homosexuality is just as destructive as embracing the sins of theft, lying and adultery......just to name a few.


These may seem to be very bold statements to someone that hasn't experienced what I have, and even more so if one takes at face value what is publicly being represented as the state of current gay culture. So what would make me state such bold opinions you may ask? Especially in the social climate of today, where I will be attacked, ridiculed and hated? Well, the honest answer is a very strong conviction on the matter, one that I sincerely believe has come from God himself.


Let me tell you what I have seen......