Meanwhile, it was impossible, completely impossible, to not be affected by the homosexual culture that I was immersed in. Everywhere I went I was longingly started at by gay men and even propositioned on public streets. Several times I went to parks and I was followed, as though being stalked. I figured out pretty quickly that many of the parks were more gay hook-up spots than actual parks. I even had men pull up beside me as I walked and proposition me. It was one of the most uncomfortable environments I had ever been in. In a matter of months it became habit to avoid all eye contact with any males in the area.....seriously.....just a fleeting glimpse would have me on the receiving end of a lustful stare that longed to make physical contact.
Work was not much better. I would frequently be party to conversations between gay men about their sexual exploits the night before. I felt that this was not appropriate in the workplace, no matter if it was gay or straight, but if I even made a slight disapproving facial gesture I would be asked, “What's the matter, are you a homophobe?”, in a sneering, aggressive manner. In the 10 months of my employment there, I saw a gay man that worked in accounting come to work after obviously being badly assaulted at least twice, maybe three times, I don't exactly recall. The first time I saw this I inquired with a female coworker of his as to if he was alright. She replied with a casual laugh..... “Oooooh, that.......his boyfriend likes to get a little rough sometimes”, as though it was the running joke of the office. I was horrified. The lifestyles of all of the homosexuals that I worked with was one of constant partying and sexual encounters.
I of course couldn't help but remember John's friends and their ways while being witness to the scene in Ft. Lauderdale. This was déjà vous. I felt I had stepped into a surreal movie set. Needless to say, I kept to myself and occupied myself with work. I felt that even when I went to the park or beach I was being stalked …..and with good reason.....I was. I couldn't turn around without a gay man ogling me with his eyes. I began to become resentful.
Even still, there were moments when I asked myself....... “Is it that bad? Can it be that bad? Maybe you are being a little paranoid......Maybe John and that whole experience got in your head too much....”
But, as I said before, I was now informing myself about the truth. It was during this time that a story was broken by World Net Daily about the public washrooms in Ft. Lauderdale that were used for sex by the homosexuals in the area. It had become so problematic that timers had to be installed on the doors to make them automatically open after 4 minutes so as to dissuade gay escapades. The article featured comments from parents that used the park on the weekends for baseball tournaments that said this activity even went on when their children were present in the middle of the day. I knew exactly where this park was and had witnessed myself exactly what was going on. It was now confirmed for me that I wasn't paranoid in the least. I knew this wasn't media bias....... and now, in fact, I was now starting to realize that the fact that this story wasn't on the national mainstream news was the true media bias.
On the same website, I discovered a book called “The Marketing of Evil” and I immediately purchased it. The book is from a Christian perspective on the current culture and how many mainstream trends are marketed to the population as “normal”, when in fact they are just evil, according to Christian doctrine of course. There is a chapter in the book on selling gay rights to America. I read about the history of the gay movement for the first time and read about the organized, political movement on gay rights and how deep its roots went. I read about major political manipulations to empower homosexuals to mainstream their activities, a concept completely contrary to what I had previously assumed; that society had just been “evolving” to become more accepting of homosexuality.
But probably, most importantly at this stage, I learned of a book called “ After the Ball: How America Will Conquer Its Fear and Hatred of Gays in the '90s”. About a year later after I had left Ft. Lauderdale (I could only last 10 months there before I saved enough money to re-locate) I read this book myself on loan from the library. It's contents shocked me. It was authored by two very intelligent homosexual activists, Marshall Kirk and Hunter Madsen, both Harvard educated. Kirk was a researcher in neuropsychiatry that worked designing aptitude tests for adults with I.Q.s over 200., and Madsen had a doctorate in politics and was also an expert on public persuasion tactics.
Once again for the sake of brevity, I cannot go into the details of all that is in this book, but it reads like a playbook for mass brainwashing of a population for the purposes of carrying out an unpopular political agenda. The book speaks in detail of propaganda techniques to be used in key positions in the media to sell the gay agenda to the American public against their will. It speaks of methods to guilt and shame the population so as to silence any criticism of the homosexual lifestyle. It also speaks of methods for mentally terrorizing and attacking anyone who doesn't support the gay agenda through a method called “jamming”, where critics are basically shouted down in a public forum through an organized attack. The book is a detailed outline of a complex agenda to convert the entire nation to be pro-gay, and upon reading it, I felt convinced that I had seen, and had been living in, the actual execution of this agenda. An exact quote from the book reads:
“We mean conversion of the average American's emotions, mind, and will, through a planned psychological attack, in the form of propaganda fed to the nation via the media. We mean “subverting” the mechanism of prejudice to our own ends-using the very processes that made America hate us to turn their hatred into warm regard-whether they like it or not.”
It has been said by many who are critical of the current gay agenda that “After the Ball” has become the “public relations Bible” of the gay movement. This of course could never be proven, but for me, it doesn't have to be. The evidence of what I have seen around me throughout my lifetime is proof enough.
It wasn't long before I came across another work by the title, “Homosexuality: A Freedom Too Far” by Charles Socarides”. Dr. Socarides was a psychoanalyst that built a practice on treating homosexuals. He states, and I believe with much sincerity, that he was able to build this practice because of the demand coming from homosexuals themselves; they would come to him in droves expressing a deep desire to change based upon lives that they described as being completely destructive and out of control. He at no time ever set out to “cure” homosexuals of their affliction because of some personal belief or conviction. He actually speaks very sympathetically about homosexuals and believes that they are in dire need of help. But congruently, he also states that by enabling them and telling them that their destructive affliction is “ok”, we are not helping them in anyway, in fact, we are harming them and harming our community at large.
What I read in that book confirmed almost all of what I had come to experience in reality regarding homosexuals and the gay lifestyle. Reading Dr. Socarides’ ideas about homosexuality is what convinced me that homosexuality is an addiction-like affliction, as I stated in the beginning of this essay. Dr. Socarides describes in detail the political manipulations that took place in the early 70s to strike homosexuality from the American Psychiatric Association's list of disorders. Manipulations that happened through homosexual infiltration of that association itself. I found his account to be extremely credible, for he was personally involved with the APA on the national level at that time.
In the book, the lives, thoughts, activities, and motivations, of many homosexual patients are described. I learned that promiscuity amongst average homosexuals is far, far greater than among the heterosexual population, often with many having anonymous sex several times in one night with several different partners, sometimes as many as 10. I had seen the evidence of this for myself in Ft. Lauderdale, so this was only a confirmation for me. I also learned of much higher rates than average of domestic abuse, drug addiction, depression, suicide and alcoholism amongst gays than non gays. This of course was another confirmation of my own personal experience going back to John and his friends and continuing on to what I had been surrounded by in the gay community of Ft. Lauderdale.
What I have spoken of here are just a few examples of degeneracy within the gay life style that I now, had not only seen repeatedly for myself, but they were also being re-confirmed for me in well-known published works. This made a very deep impression
upon me. It was the beginning of my formal education about the “true” homosexual lifestyle. I now began to piece together much of the information I read with my own personal experience. Each time a gay issue surfaced in the news, I began to be very aware as to the motivation behind how it was portrayed. I began to learn of
things like the yearly Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco and the overt, open lasciviousness of this event and many other events like it across the country. I became educated to the fact that there is an obvious pattern that is too coordinated to be coincidence. Like the constant portrayal of heterosexual men on TV as foolish and buffoons, while the gay men are sleek, smart and very cool. At the same time, I became convinced through my own experience, and by the facts listed by qualified authors that I read time and time again, that this mainstream portrayal of homosexuals of being “oh-so-together” and “just like the rest of us....but better” just didn't hold water. Not in the least. I now was getting a picture of reality where in fact the organized gay community was quite aware for some time as a whole that their ranks were comprised of a large percentage of what could only be called deviants by general public standards, and elements within that community were actively and consciously trying to conceal that fact. This of course would lead anyone trying to understand this phenomenon to then ask: why? If it is good to be gay, if it is “normal”, if it is the same as us, as is being trumpeted time and time again in the media......why hide what it is really about?
Well, for me, the answer is obvious when you understand that this group of people have been well organized and politically active for decades.. And what is politics about? Power, control and influencing how people live. So we have a minority group with a very distinct culture that is seeking influence and power within the majority. To achieve this power and influence, the acceptance of the majority must be won. But in this case, it now appears to me, from what I have experienced first hand when compared to the media’s portrayal of homosexual culture, the gay leadership knows this acceptance will never be won if the gay lifestyle is allowed to be shown as it truly is. So a campaign of deception has been implemented to “sell gayness” to the non-gay majority. The next question for me was.......why? Why is this so important?
We have been given many answers, you have all heard them before: tolerance, diversity, equality, and many more, much more complex. But what about these answers?
There have been large, openly homosexual communities in many cities now for decades......New York, San Francisco, Miami, Vancouver, Los Angeles.....just to name a few. We have seen the acceptance of openly gay politicians, even on the federal level. Portland, Oregon currently boasts an openly gay mayor. There are now even homosexuals featured in children's cartoons. The movie “Brokeback Mountain” which was explicitly about anti-gay bigotry, almost won the Oscar for best picture of the year a few years ago. Homosexuals are even legally protected as a persecuted minority through affirmative action and hate crime legislation. Either gay marriage, gay civil unions or gay adoptions have been accepted in the majority of the states in the nation. The list goes on.....and yet, the propaganda never ceases. It seems that we non-gays are never “gay friendly enough”, no matter how many gains are made.